The Agent's Daughter
by Rum Tum Trager
Summary: When Jane Smecker finally leaves her controlling boyfriend, the ghosts of her pasts begin to haunt her again. But with the help of a new beau, she will finally be rid of her demons and live the life she has always wanted (co-written with Alyssa Dixon)
1. Nightmare

Jane Smecker opened her eyes, letting out a groan as she thought back over the events of the previous few days. She should be proud of herself, should be feeling more free than she had in years, yet she couldn't shake the sadness she felt. She had allowed herself to grow a backbone over the past several days and finally stood up to her long time boyfriend, Michael.

For two years, Michael had "encouraged" Jane to do things the way he thought she should do them. He had planned out what she would do with her life, what she would eat, who she would be friends with, where she would go, and even what she would believe. He never let her voice her own opinions unless they mimicked his own.

A few weeks ago, it had been like a switch had been thrown in Jane's brain. She had slowly started noticing the way things were with Michael. The blinders were taken off of her eyes, and she had started thinking for herself. It had taken her a few weeks to feel as if she was strong enough, but three days before, she had done it. She had given Michael back the engagement ring he had given her and was finally standing on her own.

Jane shook her head, taking a deep breath. She had dreamed of her mother, Marie, and that was never a good thing. She had not had a good dream when her mom was a part of it since Marie had died three years before. Now, as she sat in bed, trying to shake off the vestiges of the dream, she was shaky and disoriented.

Jane slowly got out of bed, dragging herself into the bathroom to wash her face. She made a face in the mirror as her pale reflection stared back at her. She noticed vaguely that her pajamas were hanging a little looser on her already thin frame and tried to remember when she had last eaten. She couldn't. She shrugged her shoulders and reached for her toothbrush to brush her teeth.

Jane pulled her hair up into a messy ponytail and then moved back into her bedroom to get dressed. She pulled on a pair of black jeans with a black tank top, part of her wondering why she was bothering when she had no plans to go anywhere. She sighed, making the decision to clean up her apartment even though it was already pretty clean.

Jane's stomach rumbled, but she ignored it as she moved through the apartment and straightened up the few things that were out of place. She pulled out the vacuum cleaner and vacuumed the floors and then went into the kitchen to wash the dishes, even though there were only a couple of glasses. She grabbed a bottle of water and went into the living room, sinking onto the couch and propping her feet up on her coffee table. She glanced at her phone as it rang, recognizing Michael's number and making no move to answer it. She didn't want to talk to him, worried that she wouldn't have the strength she needed to stick to her decision to leave him.

Jane grabbed the remote control, turning the television set on and flipping through the channels. She dropped her feet from the coffee table, sitting up and bouncing her legs. She turned the television back off, throwing the remote control onto the couch as she got up and started pacing. She finally had her freedom, and she had no idea what she wanted to do with it.

'Mom…' she whispered, running her fingers through her ponytail, 'what am I supposed to do?'

She sighed, feeling tears pooling in her eyes, knowing her mom would never be around to answer her.

Growling, Jane hurried into her bathroom and slammed the door. She grabbed her razor and threw it as hard as she could against the wall, causing it the break. With trembling hands, she picked up one of the blades from it and stared at it.

Cutting had been an outlet for Jane for years after her mom's death. It had been the only way she had been able to cope with anything that happened to her. She held her breath as she continued staring at the razor blade in her trembling hand, every instinct in her screaming at her to use it. She could actually see the red colour blossoming out of her skin, see it flowing down her arm or leg. She could feel the momentary pain and then the incredible release that she always got from cutting.

Breathing heavy, unable to let go of the razor blade, Jane hurried back into the living room and grabbed her phone. She dialled quickly, tears streaming down her face as she waited for him to pick up the other end. As soon as she heard his voice, she started crying harder.

'Daddy? Please come h-help me. I...I wanna cut myself…'


	2. Papa Don't Preach

Paul ground his teeth as he pushed his Hummer to go faster. His daughter, Jane, was in danger. He needed to be there for her as fast as he could, his heart racing right along with his vehicle. Since his wife, Marie, had passed away in 2009, Jane had struggled with things like: cutting, depression, and eating disorders.

Paul had never liked Michael, disapproving the way he had always controlled Jane. Michael had never helped his daughter deal with her issues, had never helped her see the reasons why she had done the things she did. Instead, the young man had controlled and belittled her daughter until she was nothing more than the kid's shadow. It had made Paul so happy when Jane finally saw Michael for who he really was and ended their engagement before it was too late, but now it seemed that Jane's ghosts were coming back to haunt her again.

Jane wrapped her free arm around her waist, rocking back and forth, unable to see through her tears. She clutched the razor blade in her other hand, her gaze going back and forth between it and the pale stretch of skin just below her inner elbow. She bit her lip as her mind screamed out for her to do it, reminding her how good it felt any time she did. A part of her brain heard tires squealing to a stop outside of the twins' guest house, but she barely acknowledged it. Her hand trembled harder than ever as she moved in slow motion, bringing the point of the razor blade to her inner elbow, watching as the blood blossomed out around it as she pushed it into her skin. Her breath quickened as she felt the rush of adrenaline, slowly pulling the razor blade down her inner arm toward her wrist, her tears falling faster than ever.

Paul threw his Hummer into park outside the guest house of the Ouellet Mansion where his daughter lived. He quickly jumped out and hurried to the front door, using his key to let himself inside. He screamed when he saw Jane with the razor, blood running down her arm and onto the couch and floor.

'NO!' he screamed, 'Jane! What are you doing?!'

Jane looked up, barely hearing her dad's voice through the fog in her brain, her voice weak.

'It's okay, Daddy…' she whimpered, 'I feel better now…'

Paul shook his head, rushing over to the couch and tearing the razor blade out of his daughter's trembling hand. He threw it onto the floor, pulling his shirt and undershirt off as he sat down next to her. He quickly wrapped his undershirt around her arm, pulling her onto his lap and holding her the way he always did whenever she was in pain. He rocked her gently, keeping pressure on the wound as he buried his face in her hair and whimpered, trying to pull her arm free, not really aware of anything that was happening.

'What are you doing, Daddy?' she mumbled, 'it hurts…'

Paul didn't let up on the pressure on Jane's arm. He reached into his pocket with his free hand to pull out his cell phone.

'What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?!' he said sternly, 'I thought you were done with this shit, Jane. You can't keep hurting yourself like this!'

He sighed as he dialled Simon, waiting for the young man to answer as Jane started crying again.

'I'm sorry, Daddy!' she sobbed, 'I don't know why I do it. It helps! Can't you understand that? I need to do it!'

Paul growled again. He hated it when Jane did this, and he knew she needed help...and frowned when he felt his cell phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out, not bothering to look at the ID.

'Dr. Tam.'

'Simon...' said Paul, 'I need you...NOW!'

Simon frowned.

'Paul?' he said, 'what's going on?'

'It's my daughter, Simon...' whimpered Paul, keeping his grip on her arm, 'she sliced her arm open. I need you. NOW!'

Simon flinched at the urgency he heard in Paul's voice. He knew all about Jane and her past cutting. He knew how urgent it was to get to her and get her help, not just for the physical injury but for the mental trauma she was dealing with as well.

'I'll be there soon, Paul,' he answered, 'I'll drive at record speed, and you can pull some strings if I get a ticket.'

Paul nodded and then realized that Simon couldn't see him.

'Whatever, Simon. Just get here.'

He knew the younger man was trying to take his mind off things, but he couldn't think of anything but his daughter right then. He hung up his cell phone and tossed it over onto Jane's coffee continued to cry, burying her face in her dad's chest.

'I'm sorry, Daddy…' she whispered, 'I'm so sorry…'

'Shh…' Paul spoke soothingly, running his fingers lightly through Jane's hair after removing the ponytail holder from it, 'I'm gonna get you help, Jane…I promise…even if it kills me…'


	3. Nobody's Home

Josh Frohmeyer - better known as Scud - groaned as he tried to sleep. He could hear the faint sounds of bed springs squeaking in the room next to his, mixed with the familiar sounds of sensual moaning - sounds that he himself had caused on numerous occasions. He had only been living in the Ouellet Mansion for a few months, and he was already contemplating chugging a whole bottle of Jack Daniels so that he could drown in his own vomit. Between the moaning he was subjected to on a nightly basis and the loss of Abigail - whom he had always thought of as another little sister - and he didn't know how much more he could take.

He and Emily Ouellet had been a steady couple from the time the two of them were fourteen until she had her twin sister, Rebecca, had moved away from Detroit to attend college here in Boston. He had managed to track Emily down a few months ago - four years after their separation - only to find out that she's married to a man named Murphy MacManus. Not only that, but the two of them had two children and were working on four. Emily was pregnant with their second set of twins.

Josh growled as the moans from the room next door got louder. He threw the covers off his body, knowing that he would not be able to get any sleep, and stormed into the bathroom that was attached to his room. He opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed the bottle of whiskey that he kept there, opening the lid and chugging as much of the burning liquid as he could, wanting nothing more than for the pain in his heart to subside. He finally pulled the bottle away from his lips, letting out a loud belch before throwing it against the wall. He snorted as the bottle shattered.

'Good riddance…' he hissed.

'_Oh, Murphy! Oh, god, Murphy! MURPHY!'_

Josh closed his eyes as he heard Emily screaming out that name. _Murphy..._the man who had stolen the love of his life. In the months that he'd lived here, he'd never even met the man. He always avoided meeting him, scampering off to his bedroom whenever he heard Murphy calling for Emily. He could hear the man's voice even now.

'Emykins!' Murphy would call out in a sickeningly sweet voice, 'where's me pretty lass?'

Josh snorted. He stumbled out of his bathroom, through his bedroom, and down the stairs. He tried to block out the moans echoing through the mansion as he made his way into the kitchen and sat down at the table, covering his face with his hands.

'Fuck…' he whispered. 'I have never missed Detroit and those Suck-Heads more in my entire life…'

He groaned as Emily's voice rang out through the mansion again.

_'YES! OH, FUCK! YES! FUCK!'_

Josh growled. He sat up, stumbling out the front door, through the yard, towards the guest house. He figured it would be empty, and he'd get some peace from the morning sex bunnies.

'Jesus…' he whispered as he heard Emily scream again, 'she was _never _this loud when I fucked her…'

'_YES, EM! OH, GOD! YES! FUCK! YES!'_

Josh shook his head. He continued to stumble through the yard, stopping dead when he noticed something…the front door of the house was open. He frowned.

'That's weird…' he whispered, 'I thought this place was empty…'

But it wasn't.

'Agent Smecker?'

Paul looked up at the sound of the familiar voice. His eyes were puffy and red from crying, his grip still firm on his daughter's arm.

'You're finally here…' he whispered, 'oh, thank God…'


	4. Slow Me Down

Jane whimpered as Simon took her arm out of her dad's grip and wrapped the undershirt from it. She flinched, trying to pull her arm out of Simon's grip as he started examining the wound.

'Stop…' she sighed. He wrapped his arms around Jane's waist, holding her arm so Simon could examine it.

'Jane, he's trying to help you. Stop fighting him,' he said.

Simon studied Jane's arm carefully before looking up at Paul. His usually bright blue eyes were dull.

'She's going to need several stitches,' he said 'take her in the kitchen for me. I'll be able to work better in there.'

Jane cried as her dad stood up with her in his arms. Simon picked his medical bag up off the floor and headed into the kitchen to scrub his hands in Jane's sink. Jane wrapped her arms around his neck, his bare chest warm through her thin black shirt. She gasped as she looked over his shoulder as he carried her toward the kitchen, spotting someone standing in her open doorway.

'Who is that?' she whimpered.

Paul frowned as he turned around so that he could see for himself, chuckling when he recognized the young man.

'Avoiding the morning sex bunnies?' he teased him, the laughter not quite reaching his eyes as he turned to keep carrying Jane into her chuckled himself as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

'Yeah…' he said, hoping no one could smell the alcohol, 'Em can get pretty loud...'

'What's taking so long, Paul?' Simon called from the kitchen. 'Who's out there?'

Paul motioned for Josh to follow them as he carried Jane into the kitchen and set her in a chair, smiling as he knelt down beside her and brushed her hair out of her face.

'You're gonna be just fine, baby…' he said softly, 'I promise.'

Josh hesitated, staying back out of the way. He cringed the nasty cut on the girl's arm.

'I'm a friend of Emily's and Rebecca's,' he said softly, 'Emily's ex-boyfriend.'

Simon nodded. Josh looked at the wound closer, grimacing as his eyes wandered over it. It looked self-inflicted to him. Simon grinned, trying to keep the situation light.

'So you're Josh,' he mused, 'it's nice to finally meet you.'

Josh nodded. He watched as Simon opened his bag and pull on a pair of gloves.

Simon smiled warmly at Jane.

'Okay, sweetie…' he said in a gentle tone, 'let's get this stitched up…'

Jane winced as Simon rubbed an alcohol swab over her inner forearm to clean away the blood, even as the cut continued to bleed. She flinched and tried to pull her arm free, fighting to stand up.

'LEAVE ME ALONE!' she screamed, 'GET OUT OF HERE! NO!'

'JOSH, GRAB HER LEGS!' shouted Paul, 'NOW!'

Josh didn't even hesitate. He ran over, quickly grabbing Jane's ankles. Jane continued to shriek, trying to fight against her father and the strange boy.

'STOP IT!' she cried, 'LEAVE ME ALONE!'

'Josh!' Paul shouted, moving behind the chair Jane was sitting in to hold her arms, 'grab her legs!'

Josh didn't hesitate. He ran over and knelt in front of the girl's chair and putting his hands on her knees to help hold her down, cringing as she continued to scream and struggle.

'PLEASE!' Jane begged, trying to twist in their grip, 'LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T NEED ANY HELP!'

"Please, baby!' said Paul, tightening his grip, 'stop fighting! We're trying to help you!'

Simon sighed. He reached into his bag, pulling out a syringe and a vial. He pulled some medicine into the syringe before putting the vial back in his medicine bag and leaning over Jane's arm.

'This is going to numb your arm, Jane,' he said softly, 'that way you'll only feel a slight tugging sensation as I'm stitching you up.'

Jane whimpered. Simon ignored her pleas as he threaded his stitching hook and concentrated on stitching up the cut. He wiped a thick spread of antibiotic cream over the stitches before covering the wound with gauze and taping it down. He straightened up with a nod.

'You can let her go now,' he jerked free as soon as they loosened their grips, jumping up and running into her bedroom. She slammed the door shut, locking it, before collapsing face down on her bed and crying hysterically. She groaned as someone knocked on her bedroom door. She knew it was her dad, but she didn't feel like seeing anyone right then, even if she had called him before she had cut herself.

'GO AWAY!'

Paul growled in frustration, banging on the door again.

'JANE NICOLE SMECKER!' he roared, 'YOU COME OUT OF THERE RIGHT THIS SECOND, YOUNG LADY!'

Simon cleaned up the mess he had made in the kitchen before stepping into the living room. He looked over at Paul before settling onto the couch.

'Give her some time, Paul…' he said softly, 'both of you need to settle down.'


	5. Fall To Pieces

Jane kept crying, feeling overwhelmed. She slowly sat up and stared at the bandage on her arm, mentally kicking herself for what she had done. She knew it was bad, but she hadn't been able to stop herself. The release, and yes, relief, that she felt from cutting was amazing. She couldn't describe the feeling to anyone else. It was freedom.

Paul couldn't take it any more. He saw Simon to the door after they talked for a little while, but he didn't care what the doctor had said. He couldn't leave Jane alone. He had to check on his daughter. He got up and slowly walked over to knock softly on the bedroom door.

'Jane, honey?' he called, 'are you okay?'

Jane let out a shaky breath as she slowly pushed herself up from the bed so that she could unlock the door. She took a deep breath as she moved back over to the bed and sat on the edge of it.

'It's open…'

Paul slowly turned the knob, letting out the breath he hadn't been aware that he was holding when he saw that it really was unlocked. He pushed the door open just enough to peek his head in and smile at his daughter.

'May I come in?' he requested.

Jane smiled slightly at her dad's timidness.

'Yeah...' she answered in a whisper, 'you can come in.'

Paul nodded and slowly opened the door the rest of the way, walking carefully over to the bed. He sat down beside Jane and reached out gently to pull her onto his lap. He sighed in relief when she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and pulled him close.

'Why did you do it, Jane?' Paul asked softly, 'was it because of…him?'

Jane sighed, snuggling closer to her dad.

'Part of it was,' she answered softly, 'but...I also dreamed about Momma last night.…'

She trailed off, unable to say any more.

Paul growled, stroking Jane's hair. It was never a good sign when his daughter dreamed about Marie. Their daughter had been the one who had found his wife's lifeless body the morning after she had passed away in her sleep from breast cancer. Jane had never gotten over it.

'I'm sorry, Daddy…I tried to be good…' she whispered, 'I called you. I tried not to cut...but...but…'

She broke down, sobbing again.

'Shh…' Paul whispered soothingly, rocking her gently, 'you'll always be my good girl, Jane. I know you didn't mean to do it, and I'm sorry I wasn't able to get here faster. But I'm here now, and I promise you. I'm not gonna go anywhere until you're better. You're stuck with me, little girl.'

INSIDE THE MANSION

Simon stopped by the mansion before he headed back to the hospital. He wasn't sure where the young man, Josh, had gone, but he wanted to make sure that the twins were all aware of the situation involving their friend. He slid open the door between the patio and the kitchen and let himself inside.

'Hello? Is anyone around?'

Josh turned his head at the sound of Simon's voice. He was sitting on the edge of the pool, soaking his feet in the water and trying not to think about Emily. Helping with that woman earlier seemed to be helping distract him. At the moment, it was her he was thinking about. He shook his head.

'Over here, Doc!' he called out.

Simon glanced back over his shoulder. He had been concentrating so much on finding one of the twins that he hadn't noticed the kid sitting on the edge of the pool. He kept the sliding door open as he walked over to the young man.

'Have you seen any of the twins?' he asked, 'I need to let them know what's going on with Jane.'

Scud snorted.

'Em's probably still boning her asshole husband...' he muttered, 'as for Becks...she's feeding her babies.'

Simon nodded, not quite sure what to say to the guy about the situation with Emily.

'Thanks,' he said as he reached out to shake the guy's hand, 'and thanks for your help with Jane. I'm sure I'll be seeing you around.'

Josh nodded. Simon smiled before turning and heading inside the mansion, jogging up the stairs and into one of three nurseries where the children in the house were kept.

Rebecca looked up and smiled when she saw Simon.

'Simon!' she said cheerfully, 'what are you doing here?'

'I got a call from Paul,' Simon responded, shaking his head.

Rebecca frowned.

'What's wrong?' she asked, gently bouncing Stepney in her arms as he began to fuss.

Simon sighed.

'It's his daughter...' he said grimly, 'she...she cut herself...'

Rebecca gasped in horror. She knew all about Jane and her past and struggle with self-harm.

'Is she okay?' she asked, 'did she explain what happened? Why she did it?'

Simon shook his head.

'She never gave an explanation that I know of, but I met one of your other roommates,' he chuckled softly, 'a nice young man showed up and helped Paul restrain her with I stitched up the cut.'

Rebecca chuckled.

'So you met Em's ex, huh?' she questioned, 'what'd you think of him?'

Simon sighed.

'I think he is an extremely sad young man...' he said softly, 'I don't know who I'm more worried about right now, Rebecca...Jane or Josh.'

AT THE POOL

Josh stared into the depths of the pool, swinging his feet slowly in the water. He couldn't hear any sounds of Emily and Murphy coming from the mansion any more, but he knew they were still in there... together. He couldn't take it anymore. He pushed himself up to his feet and grabbed his shoes. It was time to do...something. He just wasn't sure what.


	6. Enemy

Inside The Mansion

Emily MacManus sighed as she cooked herself breakfast. Things in the mansion had gotten a lot stranger, and more awkward, since her ex-boyfriend had shown up and moved in...and she didn't like it one bit. She hated seeing the once clear blue eyes that she had fallen in love with when she was nothing more than a terribly shy little nine-year-old girl now looking so dull. They had been full of darkness ever since he had learned that she had gotten married, had two children, and was expecting two more. It was as if he was shutting down, and she wasn't sure what to do about it. She jumped when she heard the sliding door opening, pulling her out of her thoughts, and gasped. She turned quickly, then relaxed and started laughing when she saw who it was.

'Josh!' she exclaimed, clutching her heart, 'you scared me!'

Josh glanced up at the sound of Emily's voice before shrugging his shoulders, his voice hollow as he spoke.

'Sorry, Em…' he mumbled, not bothering to stop and try to talk. He wasn't in the mood to talk. He had one thing on his mind... going upstairs and getting his wallet and then finding the nearest liquor store. Emily sighed and moved over to stand in the doorway, blocking his way out of the kitchen. Josh groaned, avoiding looking at her.

'Em…' he said quietly, 'I'm _really_ not in the mood…'

'I don't _care,_Josh,' Emily responded sternly, crossing her arms over her chest, 'I need to talk to you. I'm not moving until you go back and sit at the table.'

Josh growled, putting a hand to his head.

'Can we talk another time?' he requested, trying to avoid her, 'I'm exhausted.'

He didn't see any need in telling her why he was exhausted…or that he had no intention of going upstairs and going to narrowed her eyes. She had been sensing something was bothering him for a long time, and she was determined to get to the bottom of things. Yes. She was married to Murphy. She was in love with Murphy. Yes. She had moved on with her life, but there was a part of her heart that would always belong to Josh. It still skipped a beat any time she thought of him, looked at him, or heard any of her old nicknames.

'You're not going anywhere until we have a nice, long, _detailed_ talk,' she snapped, 'get your ass to the table and sit down.'

Josh sighed, knowing he was defeated. The only way he could get out of the kitchen was to physically move Emily, and he didn't want to take the chance on hurting her. No matter how upset he was about things, he would never hurt her. Never. He growled again and turned back into the kitchen, refusing to sit at the table. Instead, he leaned against the counter and watched as she went back to what she had been doing when he had walked into the tried not to let his attitude affect her as she moved back to the stove and finished cooking her omelette. She carefully placed the omelette on a plate and sat down at the table, knowing he would never eat in the mood he was in. She looked up at him, her hazel eyes cold and angry, not understanding what was going on with him.

'What's wrong with you, Josh?' she questioned, 'you never used to be like this.'

Josh looked down and started picking at his fingernails.

'Maybe you should just get used to the new me, Em…' he scowled, 'you've moved on. Deal with the consequences. Besides, you've got other things to worry about.'

He nodded toward the guest house with his chin, hoping to distract her from whatever the hell she was trying to do with him.

'I just helped that doctor friend of yours stitch up a nasty looking cut on your friend's arm. Looked like she did it herself.'

Emily sighed. She walked over to Josh, gently wrapping her arms around his waist. The topic of Jane could wait until later, right now she needed to talk to him.

'I miss the happy Josh that I loved so much…' she said softly, her breath hitching in her throat as she fought back tears, 'yeah, I have Murphy, and Adam, and Madison. But you know what? I still have a piece of my heart that belongs to you. I will always love you, Josh. I cried myself to sleep for a month after we moved here, I wanted to go back to Detroit, and part of me regrets not going back to you. The day you showed up here, part of me was screaming to kiss you, but I fought it. I still love you, deep down. No matter what, you'll always be my…'

She paused.

'…Scud Puppy…'

Josh groaned.

'You really had to pull the _Scud Puppy_card?!' he said.

Emily sighed, she moved her hand up, gently cupping Scud's cheek in her hand as tears slowly began to fall.

'I just wish you'd talk to me, Josh…' she whispered, 'I'm worried sick about you…'

Josh growled in frustration, yanking himself completely free of the hold Emily had on him.

'You shouldn't be making wishes like that, Em…' he snapped, 'you lost the right to be worried about me the moment you chose someone else over me. Just leave me alone.'

Before she could say anything else to him, he hurried from the room and rushed up the stairs to his bedroom. He grabbed his wallet and then ran back down the stairs and out the front door.

Instead of going back inside the mansion after he came back from the liquor store, Josh went around the side of the mansion and into the back yard. He made his way over to the large white gazebo that stood proudly in the center of the fragrant garden and sank down onto one of the benches inside it. Opening the whiskey bottle, he put it to his lips and tilted it up. The alcohol burned its way down his throat, hopefully working on sending him into oblivion so that he couldn't feel or think anymore.


	7. Never Gonna Be Alone

Inside The Guest House

Paul covered Jane lightly with her blanket, thankful that she was finally sleeping. He went into the kitchen to brew a pot of coffee. He had a lot of decisions to make, none of them good. He was so deep in thought that he barely heard the sound of a familiar female voice.

'Paul?'

Paul turned his head to find Rebecca standing in the doorway that stood between the kitchen and the living room. Her husband, Connor, was right behind her. He sighed and turned back toward the window again.

'Shouldn't you be with your children?' he asked softly.

Connor shook his head and sighed.

'Is she okay?' he inquired, his voice no louder than Paul's.

Paul shook his head. More than anything else right then, he wanted to find Michael and beat him to a bloody pulp for what he had put Jane through. But he fought his violent urges for his daughter's sake, knowing she wouldn't want him to do that.

Rebecca slowly walked over and wrapped her arms around the waist of the man she considered to be her second father. She laid her cheek against his back and held him tight.

'What happened, Paul?' she whispered, 'why did she do it?'

Paul turned around and wrapped his arms around Rebecca, resting his cheek on the top of her head.

'I wish I knew…' he said, starting to sob, 'I WISH I KNEW!'

Connor closed the distance and laid his hand on Paul's back, rubbing.

'Was it cause o' wha' 'appened wit Michael?' he asked, clenching his other fist, ready to go rip the guy's head from his shoulders if he was the cause of Jane's breakdown, 'is he de cause o' all dis?'

Paul took a couple of deep breaths, working to get himself back under control.

'She said he was part of it, that she can't stop thinking about him…' he whispered, 'but she dreamed of Marie last night…'

Rebecca gasped. Like Jane, she also suffered from nightmares. The only difference was that hers were about her father, Jeff, who had been murdered the previous year by men associated with Giovanni's drug ring. It had happened right in front of her mother. She and Emily had both suffered horrible nightmares for weeks, until they had learned they were pregnant. She pulled herself from her own memories and looked up when she heard the sounds of whimpering and soft screams coming from the bedroom.

'Sounds like she's having another nightmare…' she whispered.

Paul growled. He shook himself out of Rebecca's hold, moving toward the bedroom, but Connor stopped him.

'I'll go check on 'er,' Connor offered, 'ye stay pu'.'

Paul clenched his jaw, his once bright blue eyes dull and lifeless as he stared off in the direction Connor had gone.

Rebecca took Paul's hand and led him into the living room and over to the sofa. She sat him down, sitting beside him and reaching for the remote. She turned on the television and flipped to some random channel, not bothering to try to make conversation as they waited to see how things went in the bedroom.

'No…' Jane murmured, tossing and turning on her bed, 'no...please...stop…'

Her long black hair was plastered to her face, which was flushed. The bandage on her arm had a few red blotches on it from her moving around so much and opening it up a little.

Connor growled under his breath as he stepped into the bedroom and slid onto the bed. He wrapped his arms securely around Jane and held her tight.

'Shh…' he whispered gently, 'yer all righ', lass. I go' ye. Yer no' alone.'

Jane mumbled. She stirred slightly, not bothering to open her eyes.

'Connor?' she muttered sleepily.

Connor nodded, his cheek rubbing against the top of her head.

'Aye,' he said softly, 't'is me, Jane. Rebecca's in de livin' room wit' yer Da.'

Jane slowly opened her eyes, noticing the time on her alarm clock. She groaned.

'It's only three in the morning?' she questioned.

'Rebecca 'eard ye makin' a fuss,' Connor explained, 'I offered te come in an' check on ye.'

Jane groaned. She looked up at Connor, his blue eyes full of concern.

'Are ye okay?' he asked.

Jane sighed, looking down as she shrugged her shoulders.

'I'd like to say yes…' she admitted, 'but I'm not sure that would be telling you the truth…why am I letting him get to me so much? What the hell does Mom want from me? I don't understand!'

Connor gently tightened his grip on Jane. He cradled her head to his chest, the way he did to Rebecca when she was struggling with the death of her father.

'I wan' ye ta listen ta me, Jane,' he said softly, 'an' I wan' ye ta listen ta me good. Ye remember when Jeff was murdered las' year?'

Jane nodded.

'Rebecca and Emily wouldn't eat or sleep…' she whispered, 'but what does this have to do with Momma?'

Connor sighed. He gently lifted her head, looking her in the eye as he spoke.

'Ye remember all tha nightmares she 'ad?' he said.

Jane nodded again. She was deeply curious as to where Connor was going with this. Then he spoke again.

'Every so often, Jeff still comes ta 'er in 'er dreams,' he said, 'an' there was one time tha' Duncan said _Grampa. _When bot' o' us turned around, no one was there. So t'is a good possibility yer Ma migh' be 'ere ta 'elp ye.'

Jane frowned.

'Help me?' she mumbled, 'how?'

Connor sighed.

'Ye were always so close te yer Ma, Jane,' he said, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead, 'yer goin' through a 'ard time righ' now, tryin' te deal wit de break up. Yer Ma prob'ly wan's te 'elp jus' as she always 'as b'fore. Try talkin' te 'er de nex' time she comes te see ye.'


	8. I'd Come For You

In The Living Room

Paul got up from the couch and paced nervously as he waited for Connor to come back downstairs. He couldn't pay attention to the television Rebecca was trying to use to distract him. Since Jane had first fallen into her depression after Marie's death, he had developed anxiety that always peaked when he didn't know what was going on. He ran his hands through his hair, causing it to stand up all over the place.

Rebecca sighed and stood up, walking over to Paul and grabbing him lightly by the shoulders.

'She's going to be okay, Paul,' she assured her friend, 'we're going to make sure of it, even if Simon has to commit her for a while first. We will get through this. Together.'

Paul sighed and wrapped his arms around Rebecca. He pulled her into a tight embrace and sobbed into her shoulder as he thought about the man who had broken his little girl's heart. He wished Jane had never gotten involved with Michael. He swore to himself that if the kid ever had the balls to show up on this doorstep again, he would not hesitate to pull out his gun and put the little motherfucker out of his misery…and everyone else's.

Rebecca kissed Paul's cheek, lifting her head when someone knocked on the door. She pulled away from Paul and went to answer it, smiling when she saw who it was.

'Well…' she teased, 'look who decided to come out of hiding.'

Murphy laughed as he stepped past Rebecca and into the guest house living room.

''ave ye seen me brudder?' he inquired, 'I need te talk te 'im.'

'He's upstairs with Jane,' Paul answered, quickly wiping at his eyes and hoping that the younger man wouldn't notice he had been crying, 'I'm sure neither of them will mind if you go on up.'

Rebecca nodded in agreement.

'I'm going to make some eggs,' she said, 'we all need to eat something.'

Murphy nodded. Rebecca kissed Paul's cheek one last time before heading towards the kitchen. A short time later, Connor came downstairs, rubbing his eyes.

'Is she alright?' asked Paul.

Connor nodded.

'She's passed righ' ou'…' he said softly, 'it took a while, bu' she's asleep.'

Paul breathed a sigh of relief. Murphy walked over to his brother, whispering in his ear.

'I need ta talk ta ye…' he said softly, 'it's abou' Em's ex…'

Connor raised an eyebrow but stepped into the doorway between the living room and the kitchen.

''m gonna go ou'side wit' Murph for a few minu'es,' he said softly.

After his wife nodded, he led Murphy outside and over to a bench in the small garden that ran along beside the guest house.

'All righ', Murph…' he said softly, 'spill it. Wha' de 'ell do I 'ave te know 'bou' yer wife's ex?'

Murphy sighed.

'She's worried 'bout 'im, Con,' he answered quietly, 'she tinks sometin's up wit' 'im bu' 'e won' tell 'er wha's goin' on. 'e tinks jus' because she moved on after she realized she wouldn' be goin' back te Detroi' tha' she shouldn' care 'bout 'im no more, but tis tearin' 'er apar' no' knowin' wha's goin' on. De kid like ye, Con. 'e always runs when 'm roun', bu' maybe 'e'll lis'en te ye.'

Connor growled. He had gotten close to Josh shortly after the kid had moved in, but he hadn't noticed anything wrong with him. Sure, he hadn't been happy to discover that Emily was married and had a family…but he seemed to take it all in stride. He sighed. He knew he had to talk to Josh for Emily's sake. Emily might be his sister through marriage, but he had considered her to be his baby sister long before she had married his brother.

'Fine,' he finally agreed, 'I'll talk te 'im. Does Em know where 'e is?'

Murphy shook his head.

'She don' 'ave a clue,' he answered, 'I sugges' ye fin' 'im soon. She's been cryin' fer over an 'our now. I donna know 'ow much more I can take.'

Connor nodded, clapping Murphy on the shoulder.

'Go tell Becca wha' 'm doin' then go comfort yer wife. I'll see wha' I can fin' ou'.'


	9. Inside My Head

Connor checked all of the obvious places in the mansion, growling when he came up empty. It was obvious Josh had left. He went into the kid's bedroom to try to figure out where he might have gone.

'Shi'…' he grumbled a few minutes later. He was standing in the doorway of the bathroom attached to Josh's room, staring at the remains of the whiskey bottle that had been shattered.

'Ye stupi' lil' fucker…'

Growling again, he left the mansion and jumped into Lita. He headed for the nearest liquor store, keeping an eye on the sidewalks in between for any sign of his young friend, growing more concerned by the minute.

Josh stumbled out of the liquor store and toward his black Cadillac. He tossed the second bottle of whiskey he had bought onto the passenger seat, keeping the first one in his hand and he slid behind the wheel. His head began to pound as he slid the key into the ignition and turned the engine over. Before he put the car into gear, he opened the bottle in his hand and put it to his lips. He rested his head against the back of his seat as he tipped the bottle up and drank more than half of what was left in the bottle in one long drink, jumping when someone knocked on the window.

Connor snarled as he yanked open the driver's door of Josh's car.

'YE FUCKIN' IDIO'!' he yelled.

He grabbed the collar of Josh's shirt and pulled him from the car, leaning in and turning the key to shut off the engine. He pulled the key free and pocked it before turning to glare at Josh, who was sprawled on the parking lot.

'Wha' de 'ell do ye tink yer doin'?!' he yelled at the kid, 'Em's worried sick abou' ye!'  
Josh groaned.

'Can you please not yell, Connor?' he requested, 'I've got such a headache...'

Connor growled and grabbed Josh by the ear, dragging him toward Lita. He opened up the car door and tossed the kid onto the back seat before climbing behind the wheel. He started the engine and raced off toward the mansion, glaring out the windshield and ignoring the moans and groans coming from the back seat.

'Ye keep dis shi' up, and yer gonna cause Em te 'ave a fuckin' miscarriage!' he snarled, 'is tha' wha' ye wan'?!'

Josh covered his eyes with his hands.

'You know I don't want that to happen, Connor…' he said, 'Em's moved on. She should be happy with your brother and quit trying to worry about me, but she won't fucking listen to me. She keeps trying to play the martyr and have things both ways. She doesn't seem to get that she can't have both of us, and it's fucking tearing me apart!'

He groaned again, his head feeling as if it was going to split open from his yell at the end of his small tirade.

Connor sighed, gripping the wheel. He decided not to head back to the mansion yet, turning down one random street after another to take a longer route home.

'No ma'er wha', she's always gonna worry 'bout ye, Josh,' he said, glancing into the rear view mirror, 'now...don' tell 'er I tol' ye dis…'

Josh frowned, trying to sit up and then changing his mind.

'Told me what?' he questioned.

Connor took a deep breath.

'She an' I 'ad a talk recently..' he began explaining, 'she tol' me tha' she's 'alf considered leavin' Murph more than once since ye moved in. She though' she 'ad managed te move on from ye, bu' everyt'ing came floodin' back when ye showed up. She still loves ye, Josh, an' she cares wha' 'appens te ye.'

Josh growled under his breath, wishing he had that second bottle of whiskey. Unfortunately, Connor had left it in his Cadillac on the passenger's seat.

'I never should have come here…' he muttered, 'then Em could stay blissfully unaware of my hell…'

He forced himself to sit up and looked into Connor's eyes through the rear view mirror.

'Take me back to the mansion. I'll be out before tonight.'


	10. A Passed Life

At The Mansion

Emily cried silently as she bounced here one-year-old daughter in her arms. Murphy had got to the police station to see if Duffy, Dolly, Greenly, or Ashley would be able to help find Josh. Connor hadn't come back from searching yet, and Josh's words kept playing over and over again in her head. It was tearing her apart. She didn't know what to do as she paced the living room. Madison pulled back from her mother's shoulder, her blue eyes full of curiosity as she wiped a tear from her mother's cheek with her tiny fingers.

'Mama…' she cooed.

Emily sighed and took Madison's hand, kissing her gently on the palm. Her kids were like tiny therapists. They could always make her smile, no matter how upset she was. They had been her biggest comfort after her father had been murdered, even more so than Murphy. She quickly turned her attention to the front door when it opened, breathing a sigh of relief when she saw who it was. She calmly placed Madison in her play pen before turning to face him. Josh rubbed his eyes as he walked into the living room, still trying to shake off the effects of the whiskey he had drank. He wasn't sure where Connor had gone, only that the older man had basically kicked him out at the door and then disappeared. He held up his hands when he saw Emily.

'Before you get mad…' he started to ramble, 'I…'

'YOU SON OF A BITCH!' Emily yelled at the top of her lungs.

She crossed the distance between them faster than she had ever moved in her life and crashed her lips against his before either of them could say another word, more tears streaming down her cheeks. Josh whimpered as Emily's mouth shaped itself to his. It felt just like it always had between the two of them. He forgot all about her husband and children as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. Nothing else mattered except her. Just her. That was it.

Emily moaned as she felt Josh's tongue plunging into her mouth, her mind going completely blank. At that moment, she couldn't think about anything except the man holding her and how much she had missed him. She had been so worried about him for so long. She couldn't hold her emotions back any longer. She pulled back slightly, resting her forehead against his and looking into his eyes.

'Let's go upstairs…' she whispered, 'get you out of those clothes…'

Josh whimpered again, unable to stop himself.

'God, I've missed those words…' he whispered back, a few tears of his own sliding down his cheeks. He buried his face in her neck, praying this wasn't all some cruel dream.

Emily laughed softly as she took Josh's hand and led him upstairs. She pulled him into David's and Ashley's room, shoving him onto the bed and crawling on top of him.

'I've missed you so much, Scuddybear…' she whispered into his ear just before plunging her tongue into it. She rocked her hips against his, moaning as she felt his erection pressing against her. Her entire body was throbbing with a need that only he could fill.

'Take me, Josh…' she pleaded, 'I need you so much…'

Josh let out a low moan of longing before he could stop it. He ran his hands along Emily's legs, slowly pushing the hem of her silk gown up over her stomach. He reached down and slid his thumb through the lace of her panties before sliding them down her legs and tossing them to the side. He tangled his fingers in her hair, kissing clumsily along her neck and shoulder as he moaned again and lifted his hips for her.

Emily moaned at the feel of Josh's warm lips on her skin, the feeling of his strong hands on her body. She slowly ran her hands down his chest, over his stomach to the top of his jeans. Popping open the buttons, she slid his jeans and boxers off his hips before reaching down to wrap her hand around his shaft. She began to stroke him, rocking her hips in time with the movement of her hand as she kissed along his chest. Her long hair created a curtain around them as she kissed her way up his neck.

'Oh, Josh…' she moaned.

Josh gripped Emily's hips, pulling her harder against him.

'Fuck, Em…' he gasped, 'it's been too damn long…'

He lifted her up, grinning when she did the same with him, and slid her down onto his shaft with a loud moan of longing. He didn't move for several moments, simply enjoying the feel of being inside of her again after so many years.

Emily gasped as she felt Josh fill her completely. She slowly rolled her hips, moaning as she felt the head of his cock rub against her G-Spot. She leaned down, kissing along the side of his mouth as she rode him. Murphy didn't matter to her at that moment. The only thing that mattered was Josh. He needed her, and she realized that she needed him just as much. She didn't want to think about what would happen later. This was their time, and she was taking it.

Josh whimpered as he felt Emily tighten around him. He grabbed her hips a little tighter, guiding her along his length as she rode him. He arched his back as a sudden wave of pleasure crashed over him, her warmth overwhelming him. She felt just as good as she always had. This was what he had been needing...this moment...this time with her. He moved his hands up her back, pulling her as close as possible as he started lifting his hips to meet her as she continued riding him.

Emily moaned, fresh tears falling down her cheeks as she felt Josh's emotions. She held him as tight as she could, her body growing hotter as they continued to move faster. Their bodies easily fell into the same easy rhythm they had always had with each other. Her heart felt as if it would burst from her chest as she felt the familiar tightening in her stomach, knowing she was close, covering his mouth with her own and plunging her tongue inside.

Josh whimpered as he felt Emily's tongue dancing with his. He dug his nails deeper into her skin, thrusting harder and harder. He knew that she was close, and he wanted her to let go and let it out.

Emily shuddered as she felt the pleasure in her body increase. She pulled back from the kiss, letting out a scream as she lost herself in orgasm.

Josh growled as he felt Emily's body clench around his. He threw his head back, shouting her name as he felt his own release wash over him. It had been so long since an orgasm felt so good, and he didn't want to let her go. Not again.


	11. Saving Me

The Guest House

Rebecca sighed to herself as she stared at the television. Paul had decided to go to bed, and she couldn't sleep unless Connor was there with her. As a result, she had decided to throw her _A Nightmare On Elm Street _DVD into the player, but she wasn't paying any attention to the movie. Her mind was too focused on the girl she considered to be another sister, not to mention the fact that she had no idea where her husband had gone. She wanted to scream at Murphy for coming to get him, but she knew her brother in law was worried... and that he had a right to be. Emily had been tormented since Josh had dropped back into their lives. She was in too much of a trance to hear the front door open.

_'Becca?' _a voice called.

Rebecca slowly turned her head, focusing on the two people that had stepped into the living room with her. It was Ashley and David.

'Well, if it isn't the Love Birds,' she said, teasing them, 'is Taryn giving Ashley problems again?'

Ashley laughed. Her and David and indeed come home early, because she wasn't feeling well.

'I'm thankful she's just one baby,' she answered with a groan, 'how you carried two sets of twins is beyond me…'

Rebecca sighed, moving over to make room for the two of them on the couch.

'I'm used to pain…' she spoke softly as she remembered her past, 'I guess that's why.'

She looked up toward the ceiling, tilting her head as she listened to the noises coming from upstairs. It sounded like Jane was dreaming again.

Jane looked at her surroundings. She was on her favourite path - the one she always went to when she needed to study or to be alone, no matter what the weather. The gravel crunched under her toes, the fragrance of her favourite flowers washing over her. Then, a familiar voice came out from the trees.

'Oh, honey…' it said, 'what did I say about getting too many tattoos?'

Jane gasped. She turned around, her brown eyes going wide when she recognized the voice.

'_Momma?' _she whispered.

Marie laughed. She stepped out from the shadows, her brown eyes glistening in the sun. She was wearing a form-fitting, white beaded dress and a veil, her black hair falling in ringlets around her round face. She dropped the bouquet of roses in her hand, opening her arms. Jane didn't even hesitate. She ran straight into her mother's arms, sobbing into her neck.

'Oh, Momma…' she sobbed, 'Momma…'

'Shh…' whispered Marie, stroking her daughter's hair, 'it's okay…Momma's here…'

Jane heaved a shaky breath. She slowly raised her head, looking into her mother's eyes. Marie gently wiped her eyes with her thumb, her eyes shining with her own unshed tears.

'My poor little Jelly Bean…' she said softly, 'what has that asshole _done_ to you?'

'He abused me, Momma…' whimpered Jane, 'he never helped me…he hurt me…'

A low growl rumbled deep in Marie's chest. She gently took Jane's hand, leading her through the forest. Jane noticed she didn't have shoes on, either. She let out another shaky breath, taking Connor's advice.

'Why are you here, Momma?' she asked.

Marie stopped.

'Excuse me?' she said.

Jane swallowed.

'Why are you here?' she asked, 'you haven't come to me in my dreams in two years. Why now?'

Marie took a deep breath. She slowly turned to face her daughter, cupping her cheek in her hand.

'Jane Marie Smecker…' she said softly, 'I came to you again because of what was going on with you. That asshole has _destroyed_ my little girl. Turned her into a fucking puppet. If I was still alive, if I ever saw him, I would wrap my hands around that stupid little neck of his and give it a good squeeze. He had no right controlling what you did. Yeah, he's _Straight Edge_…'

She snorted the word.

'…but he had no right slapping your drinks out of your hand, or calling you a drunk because of it. You're _you_. You're Jane. I'm glad you finally saw through him and kicked his sorry ass out. And another thing…you need to start eating again. You're starting to look like a corpse.'

Jane laughed softly.

'I've just been under a lot of stress, Momma…' she said softly, 'part of me still wants him…'

Marie sighed.

'You're stronger than that, honey,' she said softly, tucking a lock of Jane's hair behind her ear, 'I know you are. If you ever see him again, you have my permission to beat the snot out of him.'

Jane laughed again.

'I will, Momma,' she said, 'I promise.'

Marie beamed.

'Good,' she said, 'I also want you to tell your father to take a chill pill. He gets so wound up…'

Jane grinned. She wrapped her arms around her mother's waist, burying her face in her neck, the way she always did when she was little. Fresh tears streamed down her face as she just stood there, not wanting to wake up or let go.

'_I love you, Momma…'_


	12. Goodbye

IN THE GUESTHOUSE

Jane's eyes fluttered open. The sun was just peeking over the horizon. She looked over at her alarm clock. It was seven. Someone laughed.

'Look who's finally awake.'

Jane smirked sleepily. She recognized that voice immediately.

'How long have you been watching me?' she asked.

'Since you started mumbling _Momma,'_ Ashley answered, 'I heard you whimpering so I came to check on you...like a best friend would.'

Jane laughed. She slowly propped herself up on her elbows, pulling herself into a sitting position. She stretched her arms over her head, her brown eyes blood-shot with bags prominent underneath. Ashley laughed.

'You look like shit, Jane,' she said, 'and this is coming from the pregnant girl.'

'Can you blame me?' Jane asked as she hugged her best friend, 'my life is a living hell right now.'

Ashley sighed.

'I know it is, Jane…' she responded softly, stroking her friend's hair, 'would you like for me to track Michael down and shoot him?'

Jane sighed.

'Only if I can come with you,' she replied.

She pulled back, laying back down and staring up at the ceiling.

'I just want to disappear, Ash…'

IN THE MANSION

Josh sighed as he pulled out of Emily and rolled onto his side, sitting up on the side of the bed and reaching for the pack of cigarettes in his jeans pocket. He inhaled deeply and shook his head.

'I can't believe we just did that, Em…' he said, 'I haven't cum like that since we broke up…'

Emily nodded. She couldn't dare to try and speak. Everything came flooding at once. She has betrayed the love of her life. The man who saved her and took care of her after she was beaten, raped, and tortured by one of the sickest men in Boston. She felt terrible. Josh looked over and nodded, reading her like a book. Without another word, he got dressed and walked out, trying to ignore the new hole that had just been punched in his chest.

Emily curled up on Ashley's and David's bed, sobbing into the pillow, knowing she had just pushed Josh out of her life completely and lost Murphy...all in one stupid move.

Josh tossed his cigarette butt into an ashtray in the kitchen before going outside, his fists clenched at his sides as he paced around the large in-ground swimming pool. He had been an idiot to think that he really meant anything to Emily anymore. With a snarl, he flopped himself down on one of the chaise lounges, squeezing his eyes shut. When he opened them a few minutes later, his attention was caught by the windows of the guest house...one of the ones on the upper floor was open.


	13. Shine Forever

IN THE GUESTHOUSE

Jane paced nervously in her bedroom. Ashley had gone downstairs to make her something to eat, but she really wasn't that hungry. She opened her bedroom window for some air, playing with her lower lip as she walked around the room. She had taken Connor's advice and talked to her mother when she had come to her in her dream, but it still wasn't enough. She needed more. She gasped when she heard a noise coming from the window, but she quickly started laughing.

Josh stared at the open window and decided to take his chance on it being one of the few empty ones left around the place. He walked over and tested the trellis that was nailed against the side of the house before climbing up it and into the open window. He lost his balance halfway through and fell onto the carpet of the room, sprawled out and debating whether he felt like bothering to move or not.

'Are you okay?' Jane questioned with a giggle.

Josh groaned. He slowly pulled himself up onto his feet, muttering under his breath, feeling a little dizzy.

Jane shook her head, gently taking his arm and leading him over to her bed. She pushed him down and sat down beside him.

'You look new…' she commented, 'who are you? What's your name? And the Million Dollar Question...why did you just sneak into my bedroom?'

Josh groaned again, putting his hands to his head.

'I'm not new…' he muttered, 'Em asked me to move in a few weeks ago. My name's Josh, but most people call me Scud, and I thought this room would be empty.'

He fell on his back, fighting the urge to curl up into a ball. The pain in his heart was physical. He felt like he had gone a dozen rounds or more with a professional fighter.

Jane sighed. Without even thinking, she crawled up next to the new boy and gently rested her head on his chest.

'So you're Em's ex…' she said softly, 'she's told me stories about you. Good ones, I promise. She said you are one of the best things that ever happened to her.'

Josh snorted.

'It's too fucking bad that things changed…' he said with a sneer, 'she just used me. She fucking **_used_** me. She may as well have ripped my fucking heart right out of my chest and ate it in front of me while I died. That's what it fucking feels like.'

His eyes burned as they filled with tears that threatened to spill over onto his cheeks.

'I gotta get outta this place…' he growled, 'away from her…'

Jane sucked in a shaky breath. She reached up to Josh's face, gently wiping his tears with her thumb.

'Talk to her after you've had a chance to calm down,' she suggested, 'you don't think clear when you're upset. No one does.'

She held up her arm to show him the bandage she wore.

'I would know. This shit is gonna cost me my friends and family. It's a fucking addiction, and I know I need to stop.'

Josh grabbed her arm, being careful not to grab the bandaged part. Without thinking, he placed a gentle kiss on the bandage.

'You shouldn't feel like you have to do something like that,' he said, 'no one should be that alone.'

He sighed, letting go of her and pushing her gently to the side. He sat up on the side of the bed and put his head in his hands with his elbows on his knees.

'I'm not gonna talk to Em. There's no point. This was the final nail in my coffin.'

He took a shaky breath of his own.

_'I'm done.'_

Jane shook her head at the words she had been wanting to say herself, surprised to find that she no longer wanted to be done. She gently pulled Josh's head up so that she could straddle his lap. She cupped his face in her hands, her eyes searching his as she found herself slowly leaning in toward him. Before she knew it, her lips were crushed against his and a low moan of longing was rumbling deep in her chest.

Josh's mind reeled with the woman started kissing him. His heart leaped into his throat and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight against him as he returned her kiss with just as much need.

Jane moaned as she felt Josh's mouth shape itself around hers. She slowly began to rock her hips, hot tears trickling down her cheeks. Sex with Michael had never felt this good. He always wanted her to please him. He didn't care about pleasing her. But Josh...she could tell he was different just by the way he kissed her.

Josh whimpered as he felt his boxers tighten around his growing erection. He knotted his fingers deep into her black hair, deepening the kiss as he rocked his hips up against her. He didn't bother hiding how much his body was reacting to her, sensing that this was something they both needed.

Jane growled as she felt Josh's fingers in her hair and his erection pressing against her pussy through her panties. She pushed him back against her pillows and reached down to unfasten his jeans. She didn't care that her father was asleep in the next room. She needed this. Josh needed this. She wasn't going to let anything stop them.

Josh moaned, taking his hands out of Jane's hair and grabbing the bottom of the gown she wore. He pulled it up and yanked it off of her, moving his hands to caress her breasts as he leaned up and started kissing along the side of her neck.

Jane moaned at the feeling of his warm lips on her neck. She slowly pulled his jeans and boxers off his hips, freeing his erection. She lifted herself up, holding his face against her neck, and rubbed the head of his cock along her pussy to guide him toward her opening.

Josh growled lightly, scraping his teeth along her neck as he moved his hands down. He grabbed her hips and pulled her down as he slid his cock up inside of her. He held her in place, not moving for several moments, wanting to give her time to adjust to him. He licked along her collarbone, dipping his tongue into the hollow at the base of her throat.

Jane gasped as she felt Josh fill her. She began to rock her hips, tangling her fingers in his hair as she rode him. She yanked his head away from her neck, growling as she sank her teeth deep into the flesh of his neck.

Josh cried out as he felt Jane's teeth break the skin of his neck. He held her head, groaning at the pleasure of the bite and her warmth wrapped around his cock. He lifted his hips, thrusting deeper inside of her, pressing his free hand against the small of her back.

Jane grinned against Josh's neck, matching his thrusts, squeezing his cock gently with her inner walls as she rode him. She wrapped her arms around his back and scraped her nails down his skin as he rolled them over.

Josh groaned as he felt himself slide in deeper. He grabbed Jane's legs and placed them up on his shoulders as he began to slam himself deeper inside her.

_'God…'_ he thought to himself,_ 'she's so tight!'_

He looked down into eyes that were so different from Em, shocked to find that he was actually enjoying himself. He never thought he would enjoy sex with anyone but Em. He'd had dalliances before, but none of them had actually made him feel something. None of them had been like this. He leaned down and sucked one of her nipples into his mouth, swirling his tongue around.

Jane's head fell back as Josh propped her legs up on top of his shoulders, and she writhed in pleasure, pulling him in as deep as she could. She met his thrusts, looking up to find him staring down at her. She blushed, meeting his eyes as she thrust with him. She realized she had been right as he took her breast into his mouth and she gasped in pleasure. He was nothing like Michael. Nothing at all.

Josh smirked against Jane's skin at her blush. He gently scraped his teeth along her nipple, his hair falling in curtains around his eyes. He could feel her walls tightening around him, and he could sense that she was close.

Jane's eyes slowly began to roll into the back of her head as she felt her stomach tighten. Her skin flushed as her body got hotter, a thin sheen of sweat breaking out over her skin.

_'Oh, Josh…'_ she murmured, gasping as she orgasmed harder than she ever had before. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, holding him as close as possible as her inner walls tightened around his cock as her body orgasmed.

Josh growled against Jane's breast, his eyes rolling back in his head as her orgasm pushed him over the edge. He bit down on her breast as he started pumping harder, his cum shooting out as he had his own orgasm. He collapsed on top of her, quickly moving over to the side, as he gasped for breath, his head spinning.

_'Fuck…'_ he murmured.

Jane laughed softly as she rolled onto her side and snuggled gently into Josh's side. She had never thought she would ever enjoy sex. It had always been just something she did to keep Michael happy, but it was different with Josh. He had climbed through her bedroom window and changed her entire world in just an hour's time.


	14. Blood

IN THE GUESTHOUSE

_'Mmm, Connor…what if Paul wakes up?'_

_''e's use' ta walkin' in on us, love…jus' relax an' enjoy it, aye?'_

Rebecca sighed. David and Ashley had gone back to the mansion, so Connor and Rebecca decided to take advantage of their alone time. They had stopped paying attention to _Thomas & The Magic Railroad_ after the scene where Burnett was explaining what happened to Lady to Patch, and their clothes were strewn around the living room, praying that Paul or Jane wouldn't walk down and catch them.

Rebecca purred softly as Connor brushed his lips along the side of her neck. She lifted her hips, rocking herself against his erection. She captured his lips in a kiss that made her toes curl, her breathing becoming shallow and laboured.

Connor moaned as he felt Rebecca's wetness rubbing against him. He reached up with his one hand, pinning her wrists against the arm of the couch, while reaching down with the other. He slowly guided his cock along her pussy, teasing her before sliding into her. Rebecca gasped, her back arching as she felt him fill her.

_'Ahh, fuck…'_ she gasped, _'Con…!'_

_'Shh!'_ hissed Connor, clapping his hand over her mouth,_ 'if ye don' wanna ge' caugh', I sugges' ye stay quiet!'_

Rebecca glared. Connor smirked, rolling his hips slowly. Rebecca whimpered behind the shield of her husband's hand, her eyes closing as the pleasure overwhelmed her.

_'Mmm…'_ she mumbled.

Connor's smirk grew even bigger at the sound of his wife's purr. He removed his hand from her mouth, grabbing her calves and wrapping her legs around his hips. Rebecca gasped, her entire body flushing with heat as the head of Connor's cock stroked her G-Spot.

_'Ahh…yes…'_ she moaned,_ 'that's the spot…ooh, fuck…'_

Connor started with long, slow thrusts, moaning against Rebecca's ear as they lost themselves in each other. Neither of them paying any attention to anything going on around them.

JANE'S ROOM

Josh held Jane against his side, lightly running his fingertips along her side as they both enjoyed the aftermath of sex. He shook his head, chuckling as he grudgingly sat up to retrieve his cigarettes and lighter from his jeans, lighting one and offering her the pack. Jane sighed, taking one of the cigarettes and popping it in her mouth.

'Why the hell did Emily let you go?' she purred as he lit her cigarette, 'you're…_wow…'_

Josh smirked, pulling her into his arms before his eyes grew sad again.

'I wish I knew…'

Jane sighed. She gently leaned her head in, pressing a gentle kiss under his jaw, a low purr rumbling deep inside her.

'Well, she's an idiot,' she said softly, her breath tickling his skin, 'you're amazing. In bed and as a man. You deserve to be happy, Josh.'

Josh lightly stroked her back, tilting his head for her, enjoying just how perfectly her naked body fit on his lap, in his arms. He sighed softly, pulling back enough to look down into her eyes.

'So do you, Jane…' he said.

Jane sighed.

'I know…' she said, her brown eyes sparkling, 'I found it with you.'

THE LIVING ROOM

_'Ahh…ooh, fuck…Connor…ohh, yes…Connor…Connor…'_

Connor growled, grabbing a handful of Rebecca's hair as he thrust harder, using his other hand to raise one of her legs in the air to go deeper.

_'Fuck, Becca-Bear!'_ he cried, _'ooh, God! Yes! FUCK...!'_

Rebecca cried out at the feeling of Connor's fingers in her hair. She reached up, running her nails down his back as she felt her stomach tighten. She arched her back, her eyes rolling in the back of her head. She was just about to release, but the sound of the front door flying open caused both of them to jump.

'JANEY-BEAR!' Michael called out, barging in the front door, 'WHERE ARE YOU?! I WANNA…!'

_**'DON' YE TAKE ANOT'ER GOD DAMN FUCKIN' STEP!'**_

UPSTAIRS

Josh looked toward the door.

'What the hell is going on down there?'

Jane snarled. She recognized that voice. She reached for her clothes and gun, her brown eyes full of fire.

_'Him…'_

Michael's eyes widen with shock at the sight of Connor's Desert Eagle. He threw his hands up in surrender, his breathing and heart-rate beginning to speed up.

'Whoa Con…' he said, 'let's not get too hasty here...okay?'

_'Oh!'_ said a voice,_ 'you're fucking worried about Connor?! YOU SHOULD BE FUCKING WORRIED ABOUT ME, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!'_

Michael's entire body froze at the sound of the crazed voice. He slowly turned his head, his eyes still wide with shock as he stared into the now-crazed eyes of his ex-fiancée. He swallowed against the lump in his throat, his voice barely a squeak as he spoke.

'It doesn't have to be like this Jane…' he said slowly, 'please…'

Jane laughed. But it wasn't her usual Jane-like laugh. It was crazed, almost demonic. She cocked her gun, her brown eyes wide as she walked towards him.

'If I shot you right now, I'd fucking walk…' she snarled, 'Daddy would make fucking sure of it. You never helped me, you son of a bitch. All you did was emotionally abuse me. Make me believe it was my fault my mother died. You should be fucking thankful Daddy doesn't know about the physical abuse, or you would have been dead a long fucking time ago.'

Josh pulled his clothes on and walked down the stairs behind Jane, his eyes narrowing as he spotted the guy she was aiming the gun at. He gently placed his hand on the small of her back, not getting involved but letting her know that he was there. Jane turned her head slightly, her eyes clear…she was going to kill him. She heaved a sigh, turning her head back towards her ex. A small smirk curved at the corner of her devil-red lips, her eyes glistening as her finger began to curl.

_'Requiescant in pace…'_

Before Michael could say another word, Jane pulled the trigger. The bullet went through the front of his skull, flying out the back. Rebecca screamed as his lifeless body hit the floor of the main foyer, blood oozing out of the wound.

Josh didn't flinch. He'd seen more than his share of death in his life, although he had to admit that it was a little disgusting when they didn't disintegrate for you. He stepped closer to Jane, wrapping an arm around her waist as his other hand covered the one that she had holding the gun. He kissed the side of her neck as he pulled the gun from her hand.

'Let's get you back upstairs…' he said gently, 'I'll take care of him for you…'

Jane snarled.

'No…' she said, 'I'll take care of him.'

_'Jane!'_

Everyone looked up. Paul came rushing out of his room, his hair a mess. Jane's eyes widened.

'Daddy!'

'What the hell is going on?!' Paul demanded as he rushed down the stairs. He shoved Josh out of the way and pulled Jane into his arms, eyeing the gun in Josh's hands.

'What do you think you're doing?!'

Josh sighed.

'Not me…' he said, holding the gun up, 'this is Jane's gun. That asshole ex of hers showed up.'

Jane sighed.

'I killed him, Daddy,' she said, 'he won't be bothering anyone anymore.'

Paul snatched the gun out of Josh's hand, running his free hand through his hair.

_'Damn it, Jane…'_ he muttered.

He pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head, sighing.

'Don't worry. I'll take care of everything.'

Jane sighed. She wrapped her arms tightly around her father, burying her face in his chest. Rebecca cleared her throat, trying to cover herself with Connor's peacoat.

'I'd suggest re-locating the body…' she said softly, 'and Connor and I should probably get dressed…'

'I said I'd take care of it,' Josh said. He looked sadly at Jane, grateful she had friends to help her.

Paul kept his grip on Jane and led her back upstairs, laying her back on her bed.

'Are you okay, baby girl?' he asked.

Jane sighed.

'That was a long time coming, Daddy…' she said softly, 'he did more than emotionally abuse me…'


	15. Pain

Josh paced nervously as Rebecca and Connor went to dispose of Michael's body. Would Paul be angry that he didn't try to stop Jane from murdering her ex? Or would he actually be happy that his daughter had finally found someone who actually gave a shit about her? He didn't know. He looked up when he saw someone coming through the front door, but he hadn't seen the girl before. The girl looked up, her eyes wide as she looked at him.

_'Oh…'_

Josh's eyes widened at the sight of the young woman. She was short - about 5'4" in height. She had long, dark brown hair and bright, almond-shaped green eyes. He was just about to open his mouth to say something, then a voice rang out.

_'Hayley-Bear!'_

The young woman blushed and looked over her shoulder as her husband came into the guest house. Josh had never seen the man before, either, but he had to assume that they were friends of Jane.

'Can I help you?'

'We just came to check on Jane,' said Duffy.

His eyes fell to the blood on the floor and immediately pulled out his gun, pointing it at Josh.

'You just stay where you are.'

His eyes flickered toward the stairs.

'Jane! Paul! Are you two okay?!'

Jane peeked her head out of the door. Her eyes were bloodshot, her voice low and hoarse.

'I'm fine, James…' she said softly, 'I'm just trying to sort some shit out with Daddy…'

'Is he hurt?'

Duffy narrowed his eyes at the guy in front of him.

'You're under arrest. Put your hands over on the banister and don't step in that blood.'

Jane snarled.

'James, will you relax?' she said, shoving him aside, 'Daddy's fine. That's _Michael's_ blood, you _idjit._ I killed him.'

She looked over at Hayley, a small, sad smile forming on her lips as she shoved Duffy out of the way so she could kiss Josh.

'Hey, Hayls,' she said, 'you feeling okay?'

Duffy stared at her as he pulled Hayley into his arms.

'You killed Michael? It's about damn time.'

He lifted his chin toward Josh.

'Who the hell is this?'

Josh wrapped his arms protectively around Jane, resting his chin on the top of her head as he eyed the other two.

'Connor and Rebecca are getting rid of the body,' he said, 'I was about to start cleaning up when you came in.'

'Have either of you seen my sister?' asked Hayley.

Jane shook her head.

'She's back at the mansion with David,' she said, 'and this is Josh, by the way. Em's ex.'

Duffy nodded, kissing Hayley gently.

'Go on up with your sister,' he said, 'I'm gonna help clean up here.'

Hayley nodded. She gave Duffy another swift kiss, her one hand resting on her belly. She pulled away, pressing her forehead to his.

'I love you…' she said softly.

'I love you more.'

Duffy gave her a gentle push toward the door and then turned to Jane.

'Where's your cleaning supplies?'

'Under the sink in the kitchen,' said Jane.

Duffy nodded, quickly moving to go towards the kitchen. Jane breathed a sigh of relief, resting her head on Josh's shoulder.

'I don't know how much I can take…' she whispered, 'I…'

The rest of her voice was drowned by the sound of the door crashing in. Jane screamed as she was shoved aside, her vision going blurry. The next thing she heard was Josh screaming, followed by a familiar, angry voice.

**_'YE FUCKIN' SON O' A BITCH! YE LAY A FUCKIN' 'AND ON M'FUCKIN' WIFE AGAIN, AN' I'LL FUCKIN' KILL YE!'_**

**_'MURPHY, STOP!'_**

Josh raised his arms to cover his head, but he made no further attempts to defend himself. Not even bothering to point out that Emily had made the first move on him. He understood Murphy's anger all too well, because it was exactly how he had felt when he finally tracked Emily down only to find out that she had moved on without him and gotten married.

Jane shook her head to try to clear it, moving quickly between Josh and Murphy and covering Josh's body with her own.

'Stop it!' she said, 'both of you!'

Murphy snarled at Jane. Emily walked up behind him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

'I'm so sorry…' she whispered, 'this is my fault…'

Murphy closed his eyes. Hot tears trickled down his cheeks, his hand automatically covering hers.

'Sto' blamin' yerself, m'own…' he said softly, ''m 'urt, bu' we've been through worse. I kno' we can ge' through dis. Ye, me, an' de babies.'

Jane didn't move from blocking Josh from Murphy, even when Josh sat up and wrapped his arms around her. As she settled on Josh's lap, she sighed and kissed him deeply before resting her head on Josh's shoulder.

Josh moaned softly as Jane kissed him, glancing briefly up at Emily to see what her reaction was before closing his eyes and surrendering fully to the kiss, tightening his arms around Jane as she laid her head on his shoulder.

'I should get you back upstairs and in bed, Jane,' he said, 'you've had a lot to deal with today.'

Jane shook her head.

'I'm not tired,' she said, 'and Ashley's coming back over to talk. She's just talking to Hayley right now.'

Murphy continued to glare at Scud as tears streamed down his cheeks. He slowly turned his head, giving Emily a gentle kiss on the temple. His hands rested on her swollen belly, burying his nose in her hair. Josh carefully kept his hold on Jane as he got to his feet, avoiding looking at both Murphy and Emily. At the moment, he only had eyes for Jane and wanted to make sure she was taken care of. He carried her over to the couch and sat down with her on his lap.

'We're at least resting on the couch,' he scolded, 'you've been through more than you should have today.'

Jane growled.

'I am sick of sitting still!' she protested, 'I am not a fucking dog!'

Josh sighed, moving her off his lap and getting to his feet. He brushed past everyone and went outside. Murphy snorted.

'Arrogan' lil' shite, in't 'e?' he said, tightening his grip on Emily.

Emily shook her head.

'Not arrogant…' she whispered, 'broken…'

Jane looked sadly at the door before she looked back over to Emily. Her eyes were droopy, and she felt like she was hit by a Mac truck.

'He told me what happened…' she said, 'why did you do it?'

Emily shook her head.

'I was so over-run with guilt I thought it would make him feel better…' she said, 'but, I regretted it. I cried afterwards. But we didn't do it in our bed. We did it in David and Ashley's.'

Josh paced the grounds around the guest house. He had thought he might be able to find happiness again, had started to hope, but even she had yelled at him. He couldn't do anything fucking right. He deserved to be alone. He didn't bother to look up when he heard footsteps, let alone the familiar male voice.

'So, you and my daughter are an item now, huh?'

Josh shrugged, stopping and pulling his cigarettes from his pocket, lighting one up.

'I thought we might be…' he mumbled.

Paul smirked. He pulled out his own cigarette, lighting it before clapping the young man on the shoulder.

'I really appreciate you protecting her like that,' he said, 'she hasn't felt so secure in years. She attempted suicide before.'

Josh nodded, staring at the ground.

'I heard…' he muttered, 'she didn't deserve any of that shit.'

He sighed.

'Don't think she's too happy with me at the moment, though.'

Paul sighed.

'She doesn't like being contained,' he said, 'she's restless, and Michael always locked her somewhere when he didn't want her to move, or he'd bar her. She gets anxiety attacks because of it.'

'I'm not trying to contain her…' said Josh softly.

Paul nodded.

'It's for future reference,' he said, taking a long drag from his cigarette, 'she's a very free spirit.'

'I don't think you have anything to worry about.'

Josh sighed, finishing his cigarette.

'I don't think she wants me around.'

Paul shrugged.

'It just doesn't seem like that right now, son,' he said, 'she's got a lot on her plate between the dreams of her mother and murdering her ex. Hell, it's about time she did.'

Josh sighed.

'Yeah, well, I've upset her. Murphy hates my guts, and I'm not sure I can even look at Em right now. Not after she...damn it. That wasn't even all her fault. I was the idiot who actually _believed_ her…'

He sighed again.

'I'm going for a walk. I've got my cell if you need me.'


End file.
